“Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.”
~Betsy Jacobson
Kathy Asks: My job keeps demanding more and more of me. I’m passionate about my career, but I don’t want it to be my entire life. How can I find work/life balance?
Joel Answers: Kathy, you’re in good company—countless employees in the U.S. are working long, hard hours. And that’s not necessarily good for their careers or companies. According to a survey by the Families and Work Institute, overworked employees are more likely to:
- Be stressed and experience more symptoms of clinical depression.
- Report that their health is poor.
- Neglect caring for themselves.
- Make mistakes at work.
- Feel angry at their employers for expecting them to do so much.
- Resent coworkers who don’t work as hard as they do.
According to a study by the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published in the American Sociological Review, 7 of 10 workers in America are struggling to find work/life balance. The importance of helping them achieve it cannot be overestimated.
We might take a lesson from Europe—less than 15% of workers in Denmark and Belgium work over 40 hours per week, whereas in the U.S., it’s 70%, according to the Center for Economic and Policy Research. It’s no wonder that U.S. workers suffer from so much overwhelm and burnout.
This kind of imbalance might be par for the course in this culture, but you shouldn’t accept it. If you do, no one wins—not your company, and certainly not you.
How Poor Work/Life Balance Affects Your Career and Life
People develop poor work/life balance in an effort to contribute more at work, but it has the opposite effect. Symptoms like these are almost certain to arise when your life has gotten out of balance:
- Feeling preoccupied with work while at home, and unable to really feel present with your loved ones.
- Inability to do your best work. It’s hard to think creatively when you’re overwhelmed and overworked.
- A skyrocketing level of stress, and accompanying physical and mental systems like depression, tension in the body, or health problems.
- Lack of time to reflect on career goals and personal milestones, or plan for the future.
- Inability to fully enjoy your personal time or relax while at home.
- Lack of satisfaction with your job, which may be coupled with a sense of resentment about your work.
You need to be your own greatest advocate in achieving work/life balance. Stay alert for these symptoms of imbalance, and take action to correct course.
9 Ways to Achieve Better Work/Life Balance
These work/life balance tips will help you enjoy a rewarding life outside of work, while finding greater job satisfaction as well.
1 – Set boundaries.
Set clear boundaries with yourself first and foremost, so you can communicate them well to others. For example, you might decide that you’ll never stay at work past a certain time, and you’ll never skip lunch. Here are some ways of enforcing your boundaries:
- Say no more often. Too often, “yes” is the default answer. We allow tasks to fill our schedules without considering whether they benefit our careers or make the best use of our skills. If you’re not required to take on a task and you’re not feeling excited about it, someone else might be a better fit. Communicate your needs and be more selective about projects you take on. Learn to say no at work.
- Disconnect from technology at home. Stay away from work-related email and texting at home. If you can, unplug from technology altogether.
- Set strict hours. Vow not to work outside of particular hours anymore, and follow through.
- Communicate boundaries to your family. When they know your schedule and needs, they’ll be able to encourage you to uphold the boundaries that you’ve set. If they’re in the dark, they’ll just feel frustrated.
2 – Set reasonable goals.
The saying “Shoot for the moon—even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars” fails to consider how we actually feel when we don’t achieve that overly ambitious goal—or when we work overtime every night trying to get there. Set goals that stretch your abilities but aren’t unreachable. Tackle one higher-profile project, not five all at once.
3 – Make plans with family.
It might seem a given that you’ll spend time with them after work, but showing you’re excited about that time will make all the difference. This is one of my most important tips for creating work/life balance, because it strengthens your relationships with the people you love most. Plan a fun family evening to kick off the weekend, and make that a regular part of your routine. Do something fun and adventurous every now and then, too, like going on a camping trip.
4 – Start under-promising.
Always estimate that a project will take a little more time than you think it should. Giving yourself that buffer of time will make you feel less harried, and it will help keep you from working long hours just to meet the arbitrary deadline you set. If you finish early, great! If not, no sweat.
5 – Use your vacation time.
Did you know that over a third of American workers don’t use their vacation time? Start taking your vacations, and you’ll improve your health and wellbeing dramatically. We all need time to recharge, and vacations are one of the best ways to do that. Here are a few tips for getting the most from your vacation:
- Leave work behind completely. Resist the urge to check in with folks in the office. It’ll be good for them to figure things out on their own—and keeping your hands out of it sets a good example for everyone.
- Plan a relaxing time. Sometimes vacations are jam-packed with experiences, as we feel the need to do everything possible to enjoy the destination and our precious time off. However, that doesn’t necessarily make for the most relaxing trip. Enjoy plenty of downtime so you’ll come back refreshed.
Whatever you do, use your vacation time. It exists for a reason.
6 – Get the sleep you need.
When we don’t sleep enough, we start overreacting to stressful situations. It makes us more hostile and anxious, causing smaller stressors to feel larger. When we respond to them in that way, we create bigger problems. Getting enough sleep can nip this vicious circle in the bud.
7 – Make time for friends.
Making time for family can be challenging enough, but don’t ignore your close friends. Make time to catch up in person on a regular basis. Sharing close social connections with your significant other can be good for your relationship as well. Invite a few friends over for dinner once a month, or have a game night. People with strong social support cope with stress better, live happier lives, and live longer, studies have found.
8 – Make time for yourself.
Make time just for you. To reflect on your goals, career trajectory, and other important life plans, you need quiet time to hear your own thoughts. Do something that gets the juices flowing, whether it’s journaling or going for a hike.
9 – Adopt strategies for handling stress.
Find something that is calming to you, whether it’s a breathing exercise or taking a walk, and do it when you start to feel stressed. You’ll work more efficiently when you’re thinking clearly.
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance can be challenging if an employer keeps demanding more of your time. However, we often place many unnecessary demands on ourselves, which these work/life balance tips can help you to overcome. Remember that to get where you want to go in your career, you need to pace yourself and learn to prioritize. Enjoying a rich life outside of work will give you the fuel you need to get there.
Create a Culture of Work/Life Balance
Helping your direct reports find work/life balance is just as important as achieving it in your own life. Make it part of your team and company culture by checking in on them, asking if they’re feeling swamped or overwhelmed. Stay alert for the symptoms discussed above as you talk with them.
Help them rebalance their workload or find better time-management strategies, like those discussed above. When necessary, take action at higher levels by influencing the development of policies that promote work/life balance. This will help create a healthier workplace culture for everyone. Here are a few options your company could implement to foster better overall work/life balance:
- Fair parental leave policies.
- Flexible working hours, or the option to telecommute (which is obviously more essential than ever these days).
- Workshops on stress reduction and time management.
- On-site childcare.
- Eldercare support (which may consist of a caregiver leave policy and/or support in finding caregiver resources).
You’re undoubtedly not the only one in your office experiencing these issues. One subtle way to shift the culture is to ask coworkers what they do to achieve work/life balance. They might be caught off guard, but it opens the conversation and positions work/life balance as a priority. Remember, finding this balance has enormous importance for everyone, whether they’re thinking about it or not. Get the conversation started, and you’ll be doing everyone a favor.
If you or your employees need to immediately get a handle on your work/life balance, email leadership coach Joel Garfinkle for assistance.
